General Motors REPLY TO BILL GATES

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press releaseStating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have tobuy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. Youwould have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. "

Office joke

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples'.

Maths Teacher

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."


Bush in Trouble....errr.... Almost!

Bush was sitting in his office when his phone rang. "Hallo Bush!" a voice said. "This is Banduk Khan from Pishin District, Balochistan. We are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Banduk Khan," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is ur army?" "Right now," said Banduk Khan, "there is me, cousin Toap Khan, neighbour Usama Jr., and entire Mulakhra ( local wrestling) team from the Killi (village). That makes 8".Bush paused. "I must tell you, that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "BLOODY Hell" said Banduk Khan. "I'll ring you back!"
Sure enough next day Banduk Khan called again. "Mr. Bush, it is Banduk Khan, I'm calling from Pishin. The war’s still on! We’ve managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment wud that be?" Bush asked. "Well, we’ve two AK 47s, a donkey and a tractor." Bush sighed. "I must tell you, that I’ve 16,000 tanks and 14,000 APCs. Also, I've increased my army to 1.5 million since we last spoke.""Oh teri (oops)....." said Banduk Khan. "I'll get back to you."
Sure enough, Banduk Khan rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war’s still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified the tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the killi's(Village's) generator. 4 boys from Chamman have joined us as well!" Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, that I’ve 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, S.A.M sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to 2 MILLION!" "Oooo zoey...." said Banduk Khan, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Banduk Khan called again the next day. ", Mr. Bush! Sorry to tell you that we’ve had to call off the war." "Sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Banduk Khan, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of Sajjjis (Roasted Lamb) and decided there's no way we can accommodate and feed 2 million Prisoners

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LIVE A LIFE THAT MATTERS

Ready or not, someday it will

all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises,

no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected,

whether treasured or forgotten

will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal

power will shrivel to irrelevance.

-------------------------------

It will not matter what you owned

or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments,

frustrations and jealousies will

finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions,

plans, and to-do lists will expire.

-----------------------------

The wins and losses that once

seemed so important will

fade away.

It won't matter where you came

from, or on what side of the

tracks you

lived, at the end.

It wont matter whether you were

beautiful or brilliant

-------------------

Even gender and skin color will be

irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the

value of your days be measured?

----------------------------

What will matter not what you

bought, but what you built: not

what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your

success, but your significane.

What will matter is not what you

learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of

integrity, compassion, courage or

sacrifice

that enriched, empowered or

encouraged others to emulate

your example.

-----------

What will matter is not your

competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many

people you knew, but how many

will feel a lasting loss when

you're gone.

---------

What will matter is not your memories,

but the memories that live

in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you

will be remembered, by whom

and for what.

---------

Living a life that matters doesn't

happen by accident. It's not a

matter of circumstance but the

choice.

Choose to live a life that matters

- Michael Josephson

Tutankhamun was a pharaoh of the 18 dynasty who governed from 1333 BC to 1322 BC during the period of Egyptian history known as the new kingdom. His name meant living image of Amun. Tutankhamun became the king at the age of 8 years and remained the king for 11 years when he died at the age of 19 years. There is no agreement among radiologists and archaeologists about the cause of death The king's nearly intact tomb, discovered by Howard Carter in 1922, received worldwide press coverage and sparked a renewed public interest in ancient Egypt for which Tutankhamun burial mask remains the popular face.
The splendor of Tutankhamun tomb are among the most travelled treasures in the world. The exhibition was shown in Great Britain, USA, USSR, Japan, France, Canada and West Germany from 1972 to 1979. More than 1.6 million people came at the British museum London where visitors waited up to 8 hours before the building opened to view the most popular exhibition. This sensational travelling exhibition toured 7 USA cities from 1976 to 1979 attracting approximately 8 million visitors. The splendors of the artifacts included 55 objects from the tomb of Tutankhamun consisting of the king solid gold funeral mask, a guilded wooden figure of the goddess Selket, lamps, jars, jewelery, furniture and other objects for the afterlife.
The face of king Tutankhamun is recently displayed in climate controlled case at his tomb in the valley of the kings, close to Luxor, 500 kilometers south of Cairo.

The anthropological and archeological evidences both indicates that the ruling dynasty of the kings helped the people of Egypt to make Nile valley the cradle of civilization(s) by making higher level of social complexity in the fields of agriculture, mathematics , medical institutions, surgery, barge transport, art work of ships, ceramic faiences , writing, architeture, commerce, culture and construction of ancient tallest pyramids during the years 3150 BC to 664 BC.
This blog, titled to commemorate the great and immortal king Tuthankhamun , shall provide intresting articles about current political events, history, literature, science, technology, quotable quotes and comical writings.