Maths Teacher

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult, "Gonzales said. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."


Bush in Trouble....errr.... Almost!

Bush was sitting in his office when his phone rang. "Hallo Bush!" a voice said. "This is Banduk Khan from Pishin District, Balochistan. We are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Banduk Khan," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is ur army?" "Right now," said Banduk Khan, "there is me, cousin Toap Khan, neighbour Usama Jr., and entire Mulakhra ( local wrestling) team from the Killi (village). That makes 8".Bush paused. "I must tell you, that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "BLOODY Hell" said Banduk Khan. "I'll ring you back!"
Sure enough next day Banduk Khan called again. "Mr. Bush, it is Banduk Khan, I'm calling from Pishin. The war’s still on! We’ve managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment wud that be?" Bush asked. "Well, we’ve two AK 47s, a donkey and a tractor." Bush sighed. "I must tell you, that I’ve 16,000 tanks and 14,000 APCs. Also, I've increased my army to 1.5 million since we last spoke.""Oh teri (oops)....." said Banduk Khan. "I'll get back to you."
Sure enough, Banduk Khan rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war’s still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified the tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the killi's(Village's) generator. 4 boys from Chamman have joined us as well!" Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, that I’ve 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, S.A.M sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to 2 MILLION!" "Oooo zoey...." said Banduk Khan, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Banduk Khan called again the next day. ", Mr. Bush! Sorry to tell you that we’ve had to call off the war." "Sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Banduk Khan, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of Sajjjis (Roasted Lamb) and decided there's no way we can accommodate and feed 2 million Prisoners

------------------------------